My Minions
by Kody Wright
Summary: After Gru retires Kevin goes to NY city to find a new boss. He soon meets Tony Stark who becomes fascinated by the odd creatures and sets them up with a fake job so he can study them. But Tony's minions are soon discovered by SHIELD and Hydra who want the possession of the minions. Meanwhile, Kevin and the Minions become fascinated with the Hulk and try to provoke Bruce.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Minion Kevin sighed a heavy sigh as after his boss, Gru had decided to retire. He and his fellow minion brothering were out of a job and would have to find work.

He stood in the mirror with a long frown as he thick chubby fingers worked the "G" of his blue demin bib overalls. He looked upon the letter and gently placed it in a wooden keepsake box on his small dresser. The three foot tall minion then picked up a newspaper looking for work for not only himself but the hundreds of minions of his tribe. He tucked paper under his arm, then placed a taxi driver cap upon his rounded yellow head and headed out the door to find work.

He traveled the subway in New York City and emerged from the underground under the shadow of a large towering building called Stark Tower. He got many odd looks upon riding the subway car from a number of children but for the most part the adults simply ignored him or had mistaken him for a child wearing costume. He made his way up the steps and through the large shimmering glass doors of Stark Tower.

To a minion Stark Tower was an intimidating looking structure; it reached high into the sky with a menacing penthouse. He waddled to the front desk and looked up to asked where the interviews would be held.

"Bello, bello," he spoke pleasantly.

Behind the desk was a receptionist who wondered where that strange noise came from. She wore a blue jacket and matching skirt over a white blouse. Her dark hair was placed neatly in a bun and her makeup lightly applied. She pondered as she looked about. "Did anyone here a strange noise?"

"Bello, bello," Kevin tried to get her attention.

She slowly leaned forward and peered over the top of her desk down at the small minion standing before her smiling. She cocked an eyebrow and wondered what on earth she was looking at. "Um…Excuse me?"

"Bello, bi-do too da…Job!" he held up the paper.

She seemed rather shocked and asked, "You are here for a job?"

"Job," he pointed to the classified.

"Um," she arched her eyebrows in surprise. "Just a second." She then turned to her phone and lifted the receiver. "Yes, get my Miss Potts please." She looked back at the strange creature before her. She grit her teeth unsure what to do, "Miss Potts, could you come to the main entrance? There is something here for a job." She paused and slowly nodded, "Miss Potts, I do know what it is." She paused again, "It's about three feet tall, shaped kind of like barrel, and is yellow and is wearing clothes." She paused once more, "Thank you." She hung up the receiver and looked at the minion, "Um…Miss Potts will be right down Mister…"

"Kevin," he spoke his name.

"Kevin," she nodded with a wary smile.

"Tank yu," he cheered and tipped his hat in thanks. He waddled over to the nearby chair and hopped up to wait. He looked about as he waited. He spotted picture of Tony Stark on the walls. Full color posters of the Iron Man suit and to a minions such genius and glamour was ever so alluring.

Miss Pepper Potts walked off the elevator wearing her white business skirt and matching blouse. Her blonde hair was pulled back into a pony tail and her bangs hung down over her bright blue eyes. She looked upon the receptionist, "Where is this person you were describing?"

"His name is Kevin and he's over there," she pointed.

Pepper nodded and walked over towards the waiting area. She then came to an abrupt halt upon seeing the strange creature sitting on the chair. She took a deep breath, gathered her wits and approached him. "Kevin," she smiled unsure.

"Bello," he cheerfully replied. He stood up from his seat and began to make his case. "Bello ya to de-da, job!"

Pepper only understood one word the minion spoke, "Job!"

He held up the wanted ads, "Job!"

She didn't know what she was dealing with but Kevin was so unusual she decided she needed to show him to Tony. "Right this way…Kevin."

He handed her a business card, "Cardo."

She took of the offering, "You have a business card" She read it off, "Minion, Kevin - Union President." She wondered, "You're in a Union?"

He nodded gleefully for to a minion all minions were the union.

"Okay then," she shook baffled. "Right this way, Kevin."

Kevin followed her into the elevator and watched as she pushed the button and turned a special key. The elevator started up to the very top of Stark Tower. When the doors slid open to reveal a magnificent penthouse with a cocktail bar and computers he knew he must be in the presence of an evil genius that he and other minions would love to serve. He followed Pepper off the lift and into Tony Stark's private lair.

Tony stood at his computer terminal with an ear piece mounted on his right ear. He wore a dark blue pair of trousers and matching long sleeve pull over jersey shirt. He had his back to Pepper and Kevin.

"Yeah, I got that." he rolled his eyes. He paused, "I'll let ya know on that, Fury." he disconnected the call and turned swiftly around and smiled at his live-in girlfriend, "Pepper!" He then noticed something was odd for there was a small yellow being standing beside her. He cocked his head to the side and assumed, "Kids out trick-or-treating kind of early this year."

"This is Kevin," she introduced him. "He's a…"she glanced at the card, "the President of the Minions. Here's his card."

Baffled Tony took the card and looked at the little minion, "You're name is Kevin!"

"Bello," Kevin cheered. He then pointed to the full size cardboard cutout of the Iron Man suit that Tony had on display, "Iron Man!"

"That's right," he grinned. "I'm Iron Man. And you are a…Um…Minion?"

"Minion," he nodded and stuck out his think hand.

In awkward fashion Tony shook his hand and noted he only had three fingers. "So, where are you from? Another planet!"

"Po-ka?" he asked confused. Why would a minion be from another planet when he was around long before humans?

"Not from another planet," he gathered gritting his teeth.

"Poop," he shook his head.

"Poop," Tony cocked an eyebrow. "Jarvis, what is this thing?"

The computer replied, "A minion."

"Yeah, I got that part. Where is it from?" he barked.

"I do not know its origins," Jarvis stated. "Folklore indicates Minions existed in ancient times."

"Si," he agreed.

"Yes," Tony made a face. "You just said yes in Spanish."

"Espanola," Kevin cheered.

"Why is it here?" he wondered.

"Job!" Kevin pointed to the ads.

"You want a job?" he asked unbelieving.

"Si," he nodded. He pointed to cards, "Minions jobs."

Pepper spoke softly, "I think he said there are more of them."

"Seriously?" Tony asked. He puckered in thought for he had never seen such a creature before. He turned swiftly and stated, "You're hired."

Pepper balked, "Tony we don't even this thing is!"

He held up the card to her, "He's a Minion! Says so right on the card." He walked closer to her as Kevin was overcome with joy. "Pepper," he kept his voice low. "This thing is the find of the century. And if there is a whole bunch more…"

"You are planning your next big media blitz," she gathered.

Tony turned halfway about and looked upon Kevin. He covered his mouth with his hand so Kevin wouldn't hear, "Look at it. It's what three foot tall, real round and yellow. It's wearing a cute little uniform. Has those huge eyes and is wearing goggles. Did you notice the hands? He's only got three thick little fingers. Pepper, this thing is awesome."

Pepper spoke aloud, "Jarvis what do Minions do according to folklore?"

"They do the bidding of an evil master," the computer replied.

She threw a smirk at Tony, "I would say they are perfect for you."

"Funny," he miffed.

 **Later**

Kevin had placed a call to his fellow minions to come to New York for their new job in Stark Enterprises. Tony simply wanted to run testing on the minions and then disclose them to the world with the fanfare and glory of the next big find. Kevin on the other hand thought Tony was an evil master and he and his fellow minions had found the new boss.

Tony set up workers quarters and an old factory under Stark Tower to keep them busy and asked they simply come in for physicals. They didn't realize it was all a sham and Tony wanted the minions and not a following of minions to do his bidding. He wanted to keep the minions under wraps but had a desire to show off his newest find. He brought in Bruce Banner to help decode the minion gene which was the most oddity of all.

Tony and Pepper greeted Bruce at the door of the elevator in Stark Tower weeks after Kevin had first appeared on Tony's doorstep looking for a job. The doctor wore tan trousers and a red flannel shirt. He smiled at Pepper and then smirked at Tony, "You called?"

"This way," Tony waved for him to follow them onto the private elevator. As the doors closed Tony began to speak. "Four weeks ago this thing called a minion showed up asking for a job."

"A minion?" he asked amused.

Tony held up his ipad and brought up a picture, "This is the little guy. His name is Kevin and he's their leader."

Bruce looked at the picture, "What is that thing?"

Pepper spoke, "He's a minion! There are five hundred minions. That's Kevin! They have names and little personalities. Kevin is a sweetheart." Needless to say Pepper grew rather found of the minions in last four weeks as she helped care for them. She really didn't like Tony's plans to expose them to the world for she felt like they were being used.

"Minions? Five hundred of these things?" he gulped. The elevator came to a stop and door slid open to reveal and factory setting using old equipment from decades ago. It appeared to a bomb factory at first sight. "Tony?" he cocked an eyebrow concerned. Then he gasped upon seeing little yellow creatures running about working on making bombs. They sported hard hats, goggles and denim bib overalls with an "S" in the center.

"Don't worry," he assured him. "It's all empty shells. They just think they are making bombs."

"Where did you get these things?" he asked alarmed.

"They came to me," he shrugged.

Pepper added, "Their old evil master retired." She laughed, "Tony is their new evil master."

"Are you serious?" he gasped in amazement.

Kevin and his friends, Stuart and Bob spotted their favorite human standing overhead and watching them toil away.

Kevin cheered, "Pepper!"

Bruce grew wide eyed, "They talk too?"

Tony admitted, "Most of the time I have no idea what they are saying. Pepper is getting the hang of it though."

Pepper stated, "They have their own language and I'm just starting to learn it now." She then spoke to Kevin, "Bello Kevin, Bob and Stuart."

Bob, a minion of only two and a half foot tall and very round melted in her presence, "Bello Pepper! Meow, meow." It was rather obvious that Bob had developed a crush on Pepper.

Kevin threw him a look, "Baboy!"

Pepper understood what he said and shook her finger, "Bob is not a loser, Kevin."

Stuart giggled, "He-he-he."

Kevin rolled his eyes and noticed the time. A whistle went out and all minions stopped working and went for lunch.

Bruce stood and asked, "Where are they going?"

"It's lunch time," Pepper told him. "They love bananas."

Bob then held up a banana to Pepper as an offering, "Ba na na!"

Kevin rolled his eyes again, "Looka too!" He then started making kissing faces at his friend.

Bob then turned around and hit Kevin with a right hook.

Kevin landed on his rear and his friends laughed at him.

"Butt," Stuart giggled.

Bruce tried very hard to keep a straight face but he found the minions to be hilarious.

Pepper chastised them, "Now, Bob, Stuart and Kevin. You three behave yourselves. That's no way to act in front of company."

Tony whispered, "Pepper is kind of their den mother."

"I see that," he replied. "So, you want me to do what?"

"Check out the DNA samples," he told him.

"Interesting?" he asked.

He candidly spoke, "I don't guys can die. I think they are immortal. They don't age. And I think they are older than the hills."

"Seriously?" he gasped.

"SHIELD would love to get their hands on my minions," Tony insisted.

Bruce patted his shoulder upon witnessing the events, "Right now…I would say they are Pepper's minions."

 **After Lunch**

Kevin was called in for his physical next but this time Bruce would be his attending physician. The minion went to a large exam room after eating his fruit fill lunch and Bruce watched as he climbed up on the large exam table.

Bruce stood in a lab coat and noticed, "He's remarkably flexible."

Tony was also present for the physical and nodded, "They all are. They can climb, swing, stand on each other…I saw them make a bridge using their bodies."

"Really?" he looked at Kevin surprised. "Can you remove your overalls, gloves and boots, Kevin?"

The minion complied and sat naked with just his goggles on.

Bruce added, "And the eyewear."

Kevin complied and sat on the edge of the table swinging his bare feet. The first note Bruce made was a minion only had three long toes on his feet. The next note was a minion had no visible reproductive organs.

"How do you know what gender it is?" he wondered.

Tony stated, "They have no gender that I can tell. But they all act male. They also use male names and as you have seen, they like human women."

"DNA?" he asked.

"Nothing like I have seen before," he sighed.

Bruce looked over Kevin's hands and then took a stethoscope and placed it against the minion's rounded chest. He listened, "Breath deep."

Kevin found the physical funny and took a deep breath and then let out a huge fart. He sat giggling to himself.

Bruce looked up and held his breath, "You did that on purpose." he waved the air, "Holy!"

Tony admitted, "When these little guys pass gas it's like a bomb went off. I got to get them to fart in front of Steve's face sometime."

Bruce cocked an eye, "I'm sure Steve will love that."

"Steve?" Kevin asked. He waved to the door, "Steve to da binky."

Bruce looked at Tony, "What did he say?"

"I think there is a minion named Steve." he gathered.

"Ah," Bruce nodded but wasn't paying attention.

Kevin had taken the end of the stethoscope and placed it in his mouth.

Bruce stated, "Spit that out!" He felt like he was dealing with a small child.

Kevin spat out the instrument that was now full of sticky minion spit.

The Doctor rolled his eyes and handed it to Tony, "Clean this."

Tony took the mess with a sour face and placed the it aside to gather samples off of.

Bruce then started to palpate the minion's soft belly.

Kevin tried not to laugh but he couldn't help it for it tickled. The minion started to laugh and laugh as Bruce tried to conduct the physical. He rolled over uncontrollably.

"Could you stop it?" he asked annoyed.

Kevin sat back up and swallowed his humor.

Bruce then took a small triangle shaped hammer to do a nerve test. He felt the tube like leg for knee and lightly whacked just below the knee cap. Kevin didn't react so he whacked it harder. Again the minion did not react. So Bruce hit the nerve harder and that time Kevin's leg flung up and hit Bruce right in the groin.

"Son of a…" he sneered.

Tony eased him, "Easy Bruce. Don't get mad. They all have delayed nerve function."

"Thanks for the warning," he huffed.

Kevin pleaded, "Ditto."

Bruce asked, "What did he say?"

Tony shrugged, "I don't know. Sorry!"

"Ditto," Bruce huffed.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Life for a minion is fairly mundane. The work days were regulated and scheduled. A minion would rise in the morning, take care of any personal needs, eat breakfast and then go to work. After work each minion enjoyed free time, dinner and then a cozy bed to sleep in. A minion's life was remarkably much like that of an average human. But the Minions new found employer was not your average human and neither were his friends and associates. Tony Stark and his Iron Man suit was cool in the big eyes of a minion but paled in comparison to the Hulk as Tony would soon discover.

Bruce stayed on for the next few weeks to study the minions and their DNA. He figured Tony was right, that those minions were very old and had been around for unknown number of years. He started to get down a basic vocabulary of minion speak has he worked with them.

A new threat was soon discovered as Hydra reared its ugly head once more but this time with the aid of Loki. Thus Thor had returned to Earth to help capture his elusive brother.

In the Penthouse of Stark Tower, Tony hosted a low key meeting with the Avengers, Nick Fury and Thor. He decided not to tell anyone else about the minions toiling in the basement of the building.

In the basement the minions discovered the explosives used for making bombs wasn't very explosive after all and thought there was a major production error. Kevin was chosen as the President of the Minion Union to go to the penthouse and inform Mr. Stark of the error. He didn't wish to go alone for he feared the Minions would be blamed. He stood on the elevator with Bob and Stuart who carried a box of duds to show Tony. The door slid open and much to the minion's surprise Tony had company in his penthouse. Bob and Stuart lifted the heavy box of dud bombs and walked it off the elevator and into the penthouse.

Kevin spoke for the group. "Bello! Bomba no go."

All heads turned as the trio of minions placed the box at Tony's feet.

Fury asked, "What the hell?"

Thor asked amused, "You have your own Minions, Tony?"

Tony perked up, "You know what these things are, Thor?"

He nodded most amused, "They are Minions!"

Steve Rogers asked, "Where did you find these things?"

"They found me," he informed. "They were looking for a job."

Thor heard all about the Minions form Asgard lore. He smirked, "And they wanted to serve you."

Kevin ignored the smirks and the gasping looks and held up a shell to show Tony, "Bomba no go!" he threw the shell down and did his best to explain, "No bomba!" he shook his head. "Duds!"

Nick asked, "You got a bomb factory going, Stark?"

He winced, "It's to keep them busy." He knelt down to Kevin's level, "These are practice bombs. It's okay if they are duds."

Kevin looked confused and then looked at his friends for support. "Oh, bomba duds! Practice bombas." He started to laugh feeling relieved that he wasn't to blame for a colossal error.

Stuart and Bob both started to laugh too. They made faces and jested with each other make funny bomb sounds.

Natasha Romanoff stood and melted, "Those things are adorable." She looked at Clint, "I know a few kids who love to have one of them."

He shook his head, "No!"

Tony threw her a look, "They are not pets for sale."

Thor asked him, "Do you have any idea what you are dealing with?"

"They are minions," he nodded. He stood up and informed, "They are very old. They like to work and they are kind of like the seven dwarfs but there are way more than seven."

Thor informed, "Minions are highly impressionable. They look for a master that is flamboyant, glorified, narcissist and…" he then cocked an eye, "You will do."

"Thanks," he muttered. "Bruce and I have been studying them for the last two months."

Nick asked Bruce, "You know about these things?"

"Well, how often do come across a minion in your life?" he asked him.

Thor was laughing to himself for he heard the stories of how minions tended to accidentally kill off their evil masters. He also understood that minions tended to be accident prone in general. He knew Tony was in way over his head.

Tony knelt back down to Kevin and told him. "It's okay! You boys take the duds back down stairs. They are practice bombs for the um…Military. Keep going like you were going before."

Kevin sounded relived, "Practice bombas. Oh, he-he-he. Ditto." He then spoke to his fellow minions, "Kam-nen!" He waved for them to follow.

Tony watched as the minions took the box of duds and walked back onto the elevator. The door slid closed as Bob waved goodbye from inside the elevator. He turned towards his audience, "Do you have any idea how old those things are?"

Thor nodded, "Minions evolved in a Reflection Lake on your planet. They are immortal. They cannot be killed and cannot age."

Natasha added amused, "Those little guys are cute as a button. Very yellow but very cute."

"Yes Romanoff, Pepper tells me that all the time." he miffed.

Thor asked, "You realize what Minions are?"

"Immortal little pill shaped things that are very old," he shrugged.

Nick asked, "How old are those…Minions, Thor?"

"As old as your planet," he informed. "They are one of the first forms of life to evolve. They have the power of the Reflection Lake in their genetics."

Bruce assumed, "I suppose you want to take one back to Asgard for study."

He shook his head wide-eyed, "My father would never allow it. Even my brother would be cautious around such creatures."

"Really?" asked Bruce. "I thought your brother would love to have a legion of minions to do his bidding."

"They are Minions!" he reminded him. "They are accident prone!" He spoke to Tony, "The only reason they have not destroyed your tower is because those bombs are duds."

"True, they are accident prone and they like to fight amongst themselves but ya know, those the best workers I ever had." he admitted. "They love to work!"

Thor smirked, "They think you are an evil master."

Steve asked concerned, "Are these things inherently evil?"

Thor assured him, "No! Minions themselves are not evil. They are attracted to flamboyant leaders. They are simply very impressionable and though they are rather small they have strength in numbers." He asked Tony, "How many do you have?"

"Five hundred," he admitted.

"The whole tribe?" he gulped. "There are five hundred minions in the basement of this building?"

Tony nodded, "Yeah!"

Thor debated, "Perhaps, we should have the next meeting someplace else?" He then looked at Bruce and gave a warning. "As I said before, Minions evolved in a Reflection Lake millions of your years ago. They are highly impressionable and something such as the Hulk would be very attractive to them. You need to make sure you don't let the Hulk out when the Minions are present. They will congregate to him."

Bruce asked, "You serious?"

"You will have a new following of five hundred minions." he warned.

Bruce shivered at the thought, "That's scary."

 **Short Time Later**

As Kevin and his fellow minions toiled away on the dud bombs they began to slowly grow homesick. Though Tony provided them with work he simply wasn't the evil master they had hoped for. There were no plans for global domination, no arch enemy as far as they could tell to counter their boredom. So to get through the long boring hours the minions kept themselves entertained.

Stuart decided he wanted to show off his musical skills to Pepper. Upon her stepping off the elevator with Tony, Bruce and Captain Rodgers, who was ever so curious about the creatures, Stuart ran over to Pepper holding his guitar.

"Ukulele," he exclaimed for he wanted to show what he could play.

Rodgers smirked, "That thing plays the guitar too?"

Pepper chastised him, "Stuart is not a thing! He is a minion and ukulele is minion for guitar." She knelt down to Stuart's level, "You gonna play for me?"

The one eyed minion nodded and started to strum. As he started the song the other minions joined in.

Tony made a face, "I wish they would play something other than the YMCA song."

Bruce informed, "Stuart likes heavy metal. Maybe you two can form an Iron Man-Minion band?" He laughed to himself.

Minion Bob suddenly grew wide-eyed as he recognized Steve, "Captain America!"

Steve gasped, "They know me?"

"They're minions," Tony shrugged.

Steve looked about as five hundred minions stopped what they were doing to come and see Captain America. They ran over in a group and looked upon the super hero with inspiring awe. They nearly climbed over one another to get to him. Then a minion at his feet held up an old comic book from the Second World War for him to sign.

"They want my autograph," he gathered.

Pepper nodded, "Of course they do. They are minions and they practically worship superheroes."

"I see that," he scribbled his name on the comic book. Then he stood back and watch as the minions all started to fight over the autograph. There was slap, kicks and punch thrown about. "They like to fight."

"Only with each other," Tony noted. He then yelled at the tribe, "Alright guys. Cut it out or no more bananas. I'll make you eat apples instead."

A gasp fell upon the small minions. How horrible, to be reduced to eating apples was punishment for a minion akin to be forced to eat broccoli.

"Not big on apples, huh?" gather Steve.

"They will eat them but only if there is nothing else," Pepper replied. "They prefer bananas. They even trade the bananas between themselves like currency."

Steve smirked and joked, "That's bananas!"

"I swear I am about to buy a banana plantation," Tony miffed.

The minions all perked up at the news.

Kevin stated, "Ba na na farm."

"No," Tony shook his head. "I was making a figure of speech. No banana farm."

One by one the minions all started to cry.

"I am not buying a banana farm," he insisted.

They started to cry even louder.

"Please don't cry," he begged. The tears fell to floor as the minions all just bawled. "Okay, okay…I will buy you a banana plantation!"

Like a switch the bawling stopped and cheers rose from the minions.

Bruce noted, "Boy they can play you like a ukulele!"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Tony Stark looked upon the large crate that was delivered to Stark Industries loading dock. He noticed a large "G" on the side of the crate and wondered what this was all about. As looked over the delivery paperwork a strange man approached from the shadows.

"I see you have received the goods." the man crackled.

Tony looked over his shoulder and spotted an old bald man with thick glasses sporting a brown twill suite and red bow tie. His walked slight hunched over as he approached.

Tony asked, "And you are?"

"Dr. Nefario," he replied as a creepy and yet awkward smile crept across his face. He handed Tony a business card, "My card."

"Dr. Nefario," he read it aloud. "Genius Inventor."

He nodded eagerly, "I was informed by Kevin that you are the new boss. I am at your service."

Tony asked, "How old are you? Ninety?"

"I'm ninety-five," he waved it off. "But age doesn't matter. All that matters is we found you."

"We?" he asked unsure.

"The minions and I," he proclaimed. "Family sticks together! Gru has since retried to live out a life of comfort with his wife and children."

"Gru is?" he asked.

"Our former boss," he smiled. "But working for you will be just as satisfying, I'm sure." He then removed what appeared to be some sort of gun from his pocket, "Let me help you with the crate."

Tony's eyes grew wide as this strange old man blasted the crate behind him blowing off the cover. The doctor waved him to come closer, "Come and see what I brought you."

Tony came closer to the crate and peered in. Inside the packing material he could see some off looking objects.

As Dr. Nefario worked Kevin, Bob and Stuart soon heard of his arrival and came rushing to greet their old friend. They walked onto the loading dock all wearing their demin overalls.

"Bello!" Kevin called out cheerful.

The old man gave a nod, "Kevin." He looked back at the trio, "Boys our old boss has gifted our new boss with the inventions." He then told Tony, "He expects you to pick up where he left off."

"Which is?" asked Tony concerned.

"Being an evil master!" he proclaimed.

Tony held up a finger, "I'm not evil."

Dr. Nefario cocked his head, "You're not?"

He shook his head, "No! I'm Iron Man."

"Close enough," he shrugged.

The minions started to rummage through the crate and soon found the weapons they used when they were employed by Gru. They started to fight over who got what weapon.

Tony watched as they started to bicker in minion. Then they started slapping, which soon turned to hitting and then to deploying the weapons against one another. He watched on has the minions tasered one another with lipstick disguised device. Soon it escalated as they turned to the "fart gun". Tony reached down and took the lipstick from Kevin's hand, "No! You don't use these on each other." As he did so Bob deployed the fart gun on Kevin and Tony got a face full of noxious order. He started to cough and gag. As Tony was nearly on the floor coughing from the gas he soon found that Kevin, Bob and Stuart were all laughing at him. He tried to shake his finger but was gagging endlessly on the gas.

Dr. Banner followed the minions to the loading dock to see what was going on. "Hey what's going on down here?" He spotted Tony keeled over on the floor coughing and three minions laughing while a strange old man stood looking eagerly on. He ran to Tony's aid, "You okay?"

Tony shook his head and kept gagging on the gas and the awful taste.

Bruce looked at the three minions and demanded, "What did you three do now?"

Stuart held up the fart gun to demonstrate and gassed Bruce right in the face. They expected him to gag much like Tony. Instead they triggered the Hulk.

The three stood back as Bruce Banner starred to transform into a giant green creature. Now anyone else would run but they were minions and not anyone else. As Dr. Nefario helped Tony to his feet the Hulk glared at the three little minions who stood in awe.

The Hulk let out a great roar as warning. Kevin, Bob and Stuart started to clap and jump up and down rather enthused. They found a Hulk! Life could not get any better for a minion.

Tony told Nefario, "The Hulk will kill them."

He patted Tony on the back as he helped him to safety, "They're minions."

The Hulk roared again and the minions grinned excited. The Hulk swung and minions ducked. They grabbed their weapons the game of taming the Hulk was a foot. Instead of running for their lives the three did acrobats and Bob managed to spring up to the Hulk's face and deploy yet another round of the fart gun.

The Hulk swung after them as he was irritated by the gas. The minions scattered as the Hulk went in pursuit.

Tony reached for his phone and called his friend Steve, "The minions just pissed off Bruce."

Steve was in the gym working out when the call came across. He gasped, "The minions did what?"

"We got a situation!" he hollered. "The minions just provoked the big guy."

"That's not good." was all he could say.

Tony ran after the Hulk who was in hot pursuit if the three little minions who were having a blast provoking the Hulk. The Hulk was going to tear apart his tower if he didn't get to a suit and fast.

The minions led the Hulk to the fake bomb making area that Tony set up. As they ran through with the Hulk closing in behind the other minions suddenly dropped what they were doing and grinned happily for their long boring day just got interesting. Dr. Nefario came to the area after the Hulk carrying some potions. He figured the minions might need help in taming the beast.

The Hulk started to smash apart the assembly lines and throw empty shells through the air. The minions rejoiced with every move the Hulk made. Dr. Nefario handed two bottles of purple potion to minions Stuart and Bob. They drank up figuring the Doctor knew what he was doing.

The two turned into the purple little monster minions and attacked the Hulk. They bit him had and the Hulk tied to swat them away but they were impossible to get rid of. Kevin stood by Nefario and looked up for help. Nefario handed him the purple potion and he shook his head and pointed to the green potion instead, "Uno."

Nefario handed him the potion and Kevin drank it down. Kevin then grew and grew until he was a giant mega minion bigger than the Hulk. He grabbed the Hulk and held him tight against his chest like a teddy bear waiting for the Hulk to calm. The purple potion wore off Bob and Stuart soon after and they returned to normal. The mega minion potion would last a little longer.

Tony arrived in the fake bomb making factory in his Iron Man suit and found a gigantic minion cuddling the Hulk. Slowly Bruce began to return. Tony gasped, "How did Kevin get so big?"

Nefario replied, "This serum will make a minion grow to a gigantic size. It wears off soon."

Slowly Kevin returned to normal as did Bruce. Bruce found himself sitting in his ripped pants with a minion on his back holding him. He asked, "What happened?"

Tony explained, "The big guy came out and Kevin took a serum that made him huge and he held you until you calmed down."

Bruce looked behind him, "Thank you Kevin."

Kevin climbed off his back and stood before him along with five hundred other minions who gathered around. The little yellow minions all started to chant, "Hulk, hulk, hulk…"

"No," Bruce held up a hand to stop. "He only comes out when I get angry." It never occurred to Bruce not to tell them how to trigger the Hulk.

The minions found a new evil master who was far more entertaining than Tony. They started to cheer, "Hulk, hulk, hulk…"

"No hulk," he told him.

Dr. Nefario stated, "If you need help controlling the Hulk, I am at your service." He handed out another business card, "Dr. Nefario. I'm a genius inventor."

Bruce cocked his head, "How old are you?"

The doctor waved the question off, "Oh what's nine and half decades?"


End file.
